"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary... Do small things with great love." ~Mother Teresa
"Let us not despair at the slightness of our success; for even though attainment may not correspond to desire, when today outstrips yesterday the effort is not lost. Only let us look toward our mark with sincere simplicity and aspire to our goal... It is this, indeed, which through the whole course of life we seek and follow..." ~John Calvin
Yes, I’ve decided to do it. I’ve decided it’s time to jump on the blogwagon and join the thousands (millions?!) who have started their own personal blog. Yes, I too, am narcissistic enough to think that there will be at least a few people in this world who’d want to read online about me – my thoughts, feelings, life experiences.
But the question I suppose is “why”? Why have I decided to put myself on the line… or online, I suppose? The answer comes with the two quotes you’ll find at the beginning of this blog, which will continue to remain on my homepage…
For a good chunk of my life, I felt that I need to be someone, do something “big,” “special”– you know, Doogie-Howser-esque (apologies for those of you who don’t know who Doogie-Howser is… I suppose that certainly dates me…) – being a famous singer, a Broadway star, a spiritual advisor to the Prime Minister, a renowned writer, you name it. I always felt that I should do something “big” with my life…
And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. When God gives you gifts, you use them, I was always taught, and so I thought I could use my gifts to make a significantly profound impact on the world.
But the problem is that that’s not how life works. And it’s especially not where I find myself now. I feel opposite of significantly profound. Most days, I don’t even feel like I’m doing anything remotely profound, let alone working towards anything “big” or excellence in a particular area. There are days when I think I’m doing worse for God’s kingdom rather than bringing others to it. I’m in a job for which I have absolutely no training and find that although the work is challenging, I wonder what in the world God is thinking in terms of how I’m supposed to be “used” by Him!! Where is glamour? Where is the “big”ness I was expecting?
But that’s also because God has been teaching me much over the past few years. Through different people and life experiences I’ve seen God working through much more of the mundane, through simple acts, through genuine “small things.” You don’t have to be Doogie-Howser or John Grisham or Sarah McLaughlin to touch the world. In fact, it’s those people’s names you never hear of that are making the biggest impact on our world, those doing “small things with great love,” those with a “sincere simplicity.”
It’s the grandmother who prays every day for each of her grandchildren; it’s the five year old who asks why people fight over the Bible; it’s the man who makes a weekly visit to the prison; it’s the 85 year-old who writes a birthday card to every person in her church ; it’s the teenager who roams the halls at the retirement home singing hymns and praying for patients… It’s THOSE small things, filled with great love, painted with a sincere simplicity.
And I suppose that’s where I’m finding myself today. There are often times where I feel I’m not doing enough, not being enough, not striving for more than I am doing right now. Although there is nothing wrong with dreaming or reaching for a goal, I have to remind myself that this simple life I think I have is what God has given me and it is with sincere simplicity that I hope and pray I can live my life… doing the small things with great love for my family, friends, and strangers… And in fact, the more I learn this, the more I dislike actually being in any sort of spotlight or put on any sort of pedestal and the more God brings me closer to him and helps me see who I truly am…
So, why the blog? Writing has always been one of my outlets, a way to express more fully what I’m feeling or what I’m thinking. My writing isn’t very profound and it is far from “correct.” But sometimes I feel that by sharing some of what I might be thinking, I may be able to explore with others questions about life, God. And this is one of the “small things” I can maybe offer, and maybe I can use just a tiny bit of what I have been somewhat trained to do… think about God. This is a part of me, a part of what I hope is a simple sincerity that I can share with those who care to join me in exploring some of life. And maybe even help others understand that it’s the small things in life that make profound differences.
So this is me. And I look forward to, every once in a while (and I promise nothing about how long the “while” ends up being!!), sharing a little bit of me, and in doing so, just showing others a tiny piece of the all-but-simple sincerity with which God loves each and every one of us.
