A Sincere Simplicity

Being a Mom = Feeling like a Pastor... a bit...

2010-05-18T15:37:00.005-06:00

I’ve had a realization lately – that I have a tiny inkling of what it feels like to be a pastor.

I was talking to a friend about seeing “results” when it comes to raising children. Both my friend and I are result-driven and always like to do well at everything they do. You write a paper in school, you get a grade. Your boss gives you a task, you complete it and can see the work you accomplish. You’re asked to sing or play a song and you practice and give it as close to a 100% performance as you can.

But, as most of you probably already know, it takes a LONG time for us parents to see fruits of our labour. As a first time mom, this feels overwhelmingly true. Is all my work doing such and such paying off, including all my work “worrying” about certain things? Of course, we are reminded all the time about the few benefits and “sin” of worry, but parenting requires a little bit of worrying about at least a little bit of our children’s well-being – otherwise we probably wouldn’t be good parents at all.

But for a results-driven person like me, it is difficult sometimes when your “accomplishment” or result for today was that your daughter slept for 45 minutes instead of her usual half hour, or your son only wore one outfit today instead of three, and other such seemingly menial “achievements”. And it may take months, years, or NEVER to see if any hard work parenting was worth the effort, worth the worry…

My husband is a pastor, and funny that the last couple of weeks it’s come up a few different times discussing how he wants to get out and DO something where he sees immediate results. Wash the van. Mow the lawn. Fish (although, that may be a poor example if you are like me and have absolutely no patience for a sport like that). And now I’m starting to understand the why of that desire. Ministry, like parenting, requires a whole lot of work with seeing little results, or if you’re so blessed, some delayed results. No matter what kind of ministry you’re in, this is usually the case – if you teach Sunday School or Youth Group or lead the Praise Team or are on the church’s council.

But imagine if it’s your full-time JOB. If you get paid to work long hours and see very little results, and in some cases (because the devil works this way sometimes) see ADVERSE results and face difficulties. It takes a whole lot of confidence in the work of the Holy Spirit and trusting in God’s hand at work…

So I guess that’s also the answer to my feelings of parenting at the moment (which will probably continue until I’m 104). Like a minister or anyone working in ministry has to have patience and trust God’s working hand, so I have to trust that the work I put in every day as a mom, no matter how menial I think it is, is truly for a greater, God-given purpose, and that I can rest and trust in that.

I am not a pastor (and there are a lot of reasons for that!), but today I have gained a little bit more respect for those that are... as well as for anyone who's ever been a parent! :o)

Finally My Second Blog: Murphy's Laws about Motherhood (which most of you mothers already figured out a LONG time ago)

2010-03-02T11:32:00.004-07:00

Okay, okay, I know, I know... So it’s been absolutely ridiculously long since I last blogged – in fact, it’s been about a year, and sadly, this is only my second blog, second only to my initial one. (It's been so long, that I actually didn't remember my password or setup information or ANYTHING -- oops!!). A crazy lot has happened in this last year, which isn’t much of an excuse, but it might at least explain my “absence” from this blog…

What happened? I had a baby!! (my first one, which probably makes a difference). My little girl was born in September and she is now almost six months old! Hard to believe how time flies.

So, to initiate myself back into the blog-o-sphere, I’ve decided to write a little bit about what I’ve learned about being a mom (things that moms who have come before me I'm sure have learned LONG ago…)

So here is my very own version of…

Murphy’s Laws about Babies and Being a New Mom:

1) When traveling anywhere with baby you can try to leave enough time to be early by 5 minutes or 30 minutes, and you will still be LATE.

2) Babies will only spit up after you put on a perfectly clean, new outfit – doesn’t matter if you or she is wearing the clean outfit.

3) Babies will be the most fussy when there’s something you absolutely MUST get done.

4) After waking up in the middle of the night, babies will finally fall asleep when you are just awake enough to not be able to fall back asleep… and the baby will wake up again the moment you finally do.

5) If desired, babies can be woken up effortlessly; ways to wake up your baby without even trying:

o Pour yourself a nice, hot cup of coffee or tea; prepare to your liking and baby will awake instantly
o Sit down with your favourite book you’ve been waiting all day to read
o Have your dog bark for absolutely, positively no apparent reason
o Pull out the entire vacuum out to prepare for vacuuming; similar results with preparing cleaning supplies

6) The length of naps of babies is directly inversely proportionate to the amount of things needed to be done: the more to do, the shorter the nap.

7) Never say: “Isn’t it great that my baby is (fill in the blank i.e. sleeping through the night, rolling over, sitting long in his exersauser, taking a good nap, laughing)?!” The baby will instantaneously stop whatever you are enjoying him doing.

8) Doesn’t matter what your baby does or how he or she does it, it is absolutely positively IMPOSSIBLE NOT to love them with everything you have. And there are NEVER exceptions to this law!

I can’t emphasize enough that last one. Despite all the negativity that you might sense from these “laws”, they really are all lighthearted, and, even when things are tough, I still can’t believe how much I love my daughter.

And that’s what I’ve noticed most about parenting. When I’m feeling overwhelmed or not sure what in the world to do, my prayers are answered by God putting the same phrase in my head – “JUST LOVE HER.”

It seems too simple, but it’s the truth -- truth that brings me such peace (ironically, the meaning of my daughter's name…). When I’m not sure what she needs or why she’s crying or what she’s feeling or what to do next or how to make sure she “turns out okay”, all that really matters is that I love her, which is impossible not to do anyway.

And I’m sure that phrase, “Just love her” will be one that echoes throughout my entire life of motherhood, which, we all know, will be the rest of my life.

A Simple Sincerity - An intro

2009-03-15T21:48:00.001-06:00

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary... Do small things with great love." ~Mother Teresa

"Let us not despair at the slightness of our success; for even though attainment may not correspond to desire, when today outstrips yesterday the effort is not lost. Only let us look toward our mark with sincere simplicity and aspire to our goal... It is this, indeed, which through the whole course of life we seek and follow..." ~John Calvin

Yes, I’ve decided to do it. I’ve decided it’s time to jump on the blogwagon and join the thousands (millions?!) who have started their own personal blog. Yes, I too, am narcissistic enough to think that there will be at least a few people in this world who’d want to read online about me – my thoughts, feelings, life experiences.

But the question I suppose is “why”? Why have I decided to put myself on the line… or online, I suppose? The answer comes with the two quotes you’ll find at the beginning of this blog, which will continue to remain on my homepage…

For a good chunk of my life, I felt that I need to be someone, do something “big,” “special”– you know, Doogie-Howser-esque (apologies for those of you who don’t know who Doogie-Howser is… I suppose that certainly dates me…) – being a famous singer, a Broadway star, a spiritual advisor to the Prime Minister, a renowned writer, you name it. I always felt that I should do something “big” with my life…

And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. When God gives you gifts, you use them, I was always taught, and so I thought I could use my gifts to make a significantly profound impact on the world.

But the problem is that that’s not how life works. And it’s especially not where I find myself now. I feel opposite of significantly profound. Most days, I don’t even feel like I’m doing anything remotely profound, let alone working towards anything “big” or excellence in a particular area. There are days when I think I’m doing worse for God’s kingdom rather than bringing others to it. I’m in a job for which I have absolutely no training and find that although the work is challenging, I wonder what in the world God is thinking in terms of how I’m supposed to be “used” by Him!! Where is glamour? Where is the “big”ness I was expecting?

But that’s also because God has been teaching me much over the past few years. Through different people and life experiences I’ve seen God working through much more of the mundane, through simple acts, through genuine “small things.” You don’t have to be Doogie-Howser or John Grisham or Sarah McLaughlin to touch the world. In fact, it’s those people’s names you never hear of that are making the biggest impact on our world, those doing “small things with great love,” those with a “sincere simplicity.”

It’s the grandmother who prays every day for each of her grandchildren; it’s the five year old who asks why people fight over the Bible; it’s the man who makes a weekly visit to the prison; it’s the 85 year-old who writes a birthday card to every person in her church ; it’s the teenager who roams the halls at the retirement home singing hymns and praying for patients… It’s THOSE small things, filled with great love, painted with a sincere simplicity.

And I suppose that’s where I’m finding myself today. There are often times where I feel I’m not doing enough, not being enough, not striving for more than I am doing right now. Although there is nothing wrong with dreaming or reaching for a goal, I have to remind myself that this simple life I think I have is what God has given me and it is with sincere simplicity that I hope and pray I can live my life… doing the small things with great love for my family, friends, and strangers… And in fact, the more I learn this, the more I dislike actually being in any sort of spotlight or put on any sort of pedestal and the more God brings me closer to him and helps me see who I truly am…

So, why the blog? Writing has always been one of my outlets, a way to express more fully what I’m feeling or what I’m thinking. My writing isn’t very profound and it is far from “correct.” But sometimes I feel that by sharing some of what I might be thinking, I may be able to explore with others questions about life, God. And this is one of the “small things” I can maybe offer, and maybe I can use just a tiny bit of what I have been somewhat trained to do… think about God. This is a part of me, a part of what I hope is a simple sincerity that I can share with those who care to join me in exploring some of life. And maybe even help others understand that it’s the small things in life that make profound differences.

So this is me. And I look forward to, every once in a while (and I promise nothing about how long the “while” ends up being!!), sharing a little bit of me, and in doing so, just showing others a tiny piece of the all-but-simple sincerity with which God loves each and every one of us.